Sad

(This is a song about how sad I am

Just picture a depressed onion cutting himself.)

I met a homeless man named Rich

Isn't that terrible

I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs

I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating

I saw a giraffe who had a short neck

That was sad, or a deer

I saw an old man get hit by a train

He didn't see it in the pouring rain

He didn't hear me shout "Look out for the train"

Cause i didn't say anything

(I just thought to myself "Oh, this is gonna be sad. And it was. I'm a geniuis)

I saw a man with only one eye, in a 3D movie

I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mother's corpse

I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped and he hung itself

I saw a boy who had red hair

I went to a store looking for something to buy

But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy

No wait, this store sells mirrors

See what I did there?

Let's Rock

No

The world's so sad, bros

Pain,gen aside,war,sexism,racism

But you gotta remember there are good things about it too

Like the fact none of that is happening to me,score

Still though it's hard not to be sad about it

How do y'all do it?

I've been telling you terribly sad things this whole song you haven't been sad at all,you've been

You've been happy,no

You've been laughing

That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything

It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world

I mean, not for people who are actually sad, but for the people like us who've gotta fucking deal with them all the time

Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it's being a hero!

The world isn't sad. The world's funny! I'm a sociopath!

I saw an old man slip and fall; hey, what a fucking idiot

I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral

Hahaha! Classic comedy!

Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now

The Holocaust and 9/11?

That shit's funny 24/7

Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about, because my empathy is bumming me out

Goodbye sadness! Hello jokes